I will give more information.
I am literally following the setup found here
http://www.ryftomate.com/general/59-[guide]simple-steps-quick-ryftomate-setup.html
Rift is in windowed mode, I open it using riftlivepatch.exe as administrator, I log in, go to server and log in to char. THEN I open ryftomate.exe in the extracted folder (I did the unblock before extracting too) as an administrator also. It opens the launcher and a drop down list with 'refresh' next to it and 'Attach' below.
There is nothing in the drop down list, I followed the instructions very carefully and have rebooted my machine several times. I have .net frameword updated and all the Visual C++ updated.
I don't have a sandybridge processor, but that is the only step i have overlooked.